just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize