Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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