you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
it's great music for shaving your balls
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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