haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
