Are we in a gay sports bar?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
you never un-have a 4some
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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