i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
