Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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