Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
