should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
