That's when you crack a 10am beer
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I don't want my vagina anymore.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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