Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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