I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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