A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
