He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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