Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
