brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
