you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
