Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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