You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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