All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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