one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
being pregnant is like rehab
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
