Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
