it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
