THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
