He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
