what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
