And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
