I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize