i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
