Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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