My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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