ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
