thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
