Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
