dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We are all done wearing pants today
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
