Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
