just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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