The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
