I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Farmville is her only friend.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
