I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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