shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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