Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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