What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize