So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
