I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
