I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize