i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
