i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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