so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
