Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
