she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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