Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
