She announced her abortion via fbk
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
