I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
