I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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