my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I think people are normalizing furries
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
