too bad you live with your parents still
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
