so that wasnt chicken after all
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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