Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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