$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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