HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He kissed a someone with a penis
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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