It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
