Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
