Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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