Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Dick very happy bro
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
